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Time for Me Stress-Buster
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One
of the most common complaints I hear from working
mothers is that they never have time for themselves.
If you’re like them, you struggle
to keep up with the constant demands on you
from work, your children, your partner and keeping
your home running.
Is
this you?
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At work, you’re under pressure
to put in the hours to show your professionalism
and commitment. You’ve got a
deadline to meet at work and you have to stay
late - this doesn’t please your children
or your nanny/childminder. But if you miss the
deadline, or leave ‘early’ (at your
contracted time), your boss questions your competence
or dedication to your job and colleagues make
snide comments about working part-time.
If
your job is demanding, your children are equally
so. They say things like: ‘Why
can’t you be like a proper Mummy and pick
me up after school every day? Why can’t
you come on my school trip/to my class assembly?
All the other Mummies do.’ Emotional blackmail
is learned from a young age! Gradually, you’ve
found yourself focusing more and more on your
children’s needs – getting them
to school on time, in clean uniform and with
all the right things, trying to make sure they
eat healthily, taking them to all the activities
you hope will develop them into well-rounded
human beings, having their friends round –
the list goes on. Of course, all this is an
important part of being a Mum and you want to
be a good one.
But
it’s not just your children.
Your partner also wants some of your time and
attention and complains that you never have
the energy/enthusiasm for a romantic night out
any more. And as if that weren’t enough,
you still have to keep up with the cooking,
cleaning and washing and you get depressed that
the house is a complete tip.
Yet
that still isn’t the end of it!
Your parents/in-laws mutter about how they never
see you and you never ‘phone, and it’s
a real struggle to keep in touch with your friends.
And
the result is:
•
You’re trying to keep everyone happy,
but feel dissatisfied that nobody seems
to care whether you’re happy or not
• You feel stressed and tired all
the time and there never seems to be time
to do what you’d like to do
• You forget things because there’s
always so much to remember
• You find yourself yearning for a
life that’s more than cooking, washing
clothes and ferrying your kids around
It
doesn’t have to be like this.
If you could give yourself regular time
to set aside for yourself, you could step
out of overwhelm, stand back and get a clearer
perspective. You could examine your priorities
clearly and decide what’s really important
to you, and be proactive about how you deal
with the seemingly conflicting demands of
work, family and home. You could begin to
set aside time for you to care for yourself,
rekindle past interests, regain a sense
of your own identity and build a foundation
where you have the energy to care for others.
Imagine
how less stressed you would feel if you
were in the driving seat, rather than just
reacting to what’s thrown at you.
Just by taking control and setting out a
course of action to balance your priorities,
you can feel calmer and lighter. Then you
can start looking at how that time for you
could best make you feel more fulfilled:
Maybe
it’s as simple as going out with a
friend for a coffee or a meal and having
a good ‘girlie’ heart to heart.
Maybe it’s exercising regularly
to get in shape and feel more energised,
or buying some new clothes to feel more
glamorous. What did you really enjoy doing
before you had children, that you’ve
let slip? Whether it’s reading a good
book, going out to the cinema, a hobby or
volunteering for your favourite good cause,
you could regain some of those special interests.
You could renew those things that made you
unique as a person, which have taken a back
seat behind your understandable desire to
give your best to your children.
Do
you think that time for you is a luxury
and too self-indulgent? Think
again! Think about how investing some
time in your own well-being would bring
you back to your children and partner
in a more positive frame of mind, better
able to care for them. Do you remember
when you last travelled by plane? If you
were paying attention to the safety instructions,
you’ll know that you’re always
told to fit your own oxygen mask before
helping someone else with theirs, even
if you have young children travelling
with you. Why? Because unless you’ve
looked after yourself first, you won’t
be able to look after anyone else properly.
The
Programme in Brief
To
create time for you and reduce your stress,
the programme goes through the following
stages:
1.
Where are you now?
Taking
stock of all the areas of your life to find
out where the pressures on you come from.
2.
Where do you want to be?
Creating
your ideal situation of having time for
you and having areas of your life in balance.
How will you use that time for you?
3.
What will help you move forward and
what will hold you back?
Exploring
your relationship with time, your
relationship with yourself, building
positive habits and discovering inner
and external resources.
2.
Action Plan
Setting
out a realistic path to achieving
time for you.
How
it Works
The
Time for You Stress-Buster programme
is very flexible, but usually runs over
3 to 4 months. Face-to-face or ‘phone
sessions help you explore the challenges
in your life and bring you to a place of
greater balance and less stress.
Sessions
normally last from 30 minutes to 45 minutes.
You
choose the frequency of sessions, although
weekly or fortnightly sessions are best
to help you make progress quickly.
The
investment for the programme is:
Premium
Rate:
£400
per month for face-to-face sessions
£300
per month for ‘phone sessions
Includes
unlimited e-mail support between sessions
£300
per month for face-to-face sessions
£200
per month for ‘phone sessions
Now
that you know more about my services, click
here to see what our clients say about
working with WorkLife Balance Solutions.
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